Feed My Sheep

As you mamas out there know, and for all those who aren't mamas or don't know, nursing takes up one's entire life once the baby comes out of your safe little womb. The little baby has gotten all of his or her nutrients up until then just by you eating whatever delicious foods you craved. It's not so easy now that the baby is with you outside of the womb. No one really ever told me how big of a commitment nursing was. It was spoken of so singularly: are you going to breastfeed your baby? OF COURSE! Are you crazy?! That was basically the response that went through my head. Never in the whole wide world would I dream of giving our sweet girl formula (especially after having learned so much about it, not to mention smelling the stuff). But nursing is hard. 

Our sweet Annabelle got off to a bit of a rough start for a few reasons. Number one: she is a little tongue tied which required her to learn how to suck a bit differently. Number two: my milk came in late. I mean...I was worried it wasn't going to come in. I think it finally started to transition from colostrum to milk on Monday (that is 5 days! poor girl must of been starving!). I am not sure but I think my milk may have come in later because her suck wasn't doing the trick...lesson learned. Anyhow, she lost the full 10% at the hospital and by her two week birthday still had not gained back her birth weight. You can imagine how it made this mama feel. I felt totally inadequate and concerned for her little body. She was peeing and pooping enough, but she just wasn't making significant weight gain (this is probably also due to her tongue-tie). After meeting with a lactation consultant, we learned a few good nursing habits and some tools to help Annabelle gain more weight in her third week of life. 

Since I spend all day every day nursing my sweet baby, I realized I have a tendency to fixate on this issue. I also can become upset that I can't get anything done. I literally sit on the couch all day long (with little breaks here and there) and feed Annabelle. This morning, though, I remembered the Lord's command: feed my sheep. I always thought of this as the poor, but I realized this morning, with great joy, that I am living out His command. I am feeding His little lamb, Annabelle, and what a gift it is. No matter how hard and time consuming this task is, I am blessed to be a part of God's plan in Annabelle's sweet little life.