For the first time in my life, I care about someone more than myself. Of course I love my husband and care about him with my whole heart, but having child brings it to a whole new level. I want to do my best to serve her and provide for all her needs. That is my call. But I also have to remember to take care of myself. I can't do a good job taking care of Annabelle or my husband if I do not take care of my needs: rest, relaxation, nutrition, and eventually exercise. On Friday, I was over-tired and extremely weepy. Every mole hill became a mountain and I just cried in Danny's arms about how hard this new life step is. Hard, but beautiful. Praise the Lord I am married to a loving and patient man who affirmed my motherhood and my feelings.
I have also begun a 54 day Rosary Novena. It is 27 days of petition followed by 27 days of thanksgiving. I love it. Danny and I prayed this novena right before we got engaged, so it holds a special place in my heart, but I am praying it with a new heart now-the heart of a mother. It gives me such an appreciation for Our Lady and her sufferings as she watched her son suffer. Earlier this week, I had to take Belle to get a prick in her foot. I couldn't even look as they pricked her because it just broke my heart to see. She was nursing and I just kept looking at her and telling her they were almost done. Later that night, I prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries and I couldn't even fathom the suffering Our Lady experienced. I am overwhelmed by it. How my motherhood has already increased my devotion to Mary! I hope to always run to her in my motherhood; to ask her for the grace to mother in the proper way and to have confidence in my vocation as a mother.