But there are some seriously hard parts and those hard parts will be different for every pregnant woman. For me, the hard parts have involved my self-image and a concern about developing gestational diabetes (which runs in my family). Slowly but surely, I have overcome my issues with self-image. I am growing a baby, for goodness sake. I should be growing a nice rotund belly and if I wasn't, there would be a serious problem. While I am glad the encounter with my original provider (recounted here) led me to seek out nurse midwifery, I realize now, a few weeks later, that I let what that doctor said bother me too much. The conversation I had with him shaped my diet tremendously for the next 4 weeks, and it made me more stressed than I should have been. I am healthy. I eat well and I exercise. I know that, so it shouldn't have stressed me out. But that's okay that it did. Lesson learned for baby numero dos.
It was a good lesson to be learned because sometimes things don't go as planned. For instance, despite the fact that I eat really well and am very healthy, I did not pass the gestational diabetes screening and have to go through the glucose tolerance test. Initially, this made me very anxious...the same way the weight conversation made me anxious. I was also frustrated. Anyway, I realize now that it is okay. It is okay that I didn't pass the first test and have to take the second. And it will be okay no matter what the result is of the tolerance test. If I pass, all glory to God, and if I don't pass, all glory to God. He is guiding this pregnancy. He gave us this sweet girl as a blessing and gift. And if I freak out, I am trying to take that gift and make it what I want it to be. This is our journey. It will be what it will be.
On a different but related note, Danny and I started our Bradley birthing class last night. It is 12 weeks long. We meet once a week for 2-2 1/2 hours and learn about natural childbirthing and different tools to help achieve smooth labor. I am really excited! In addition to that, I started reading a book on Hypnobirthing.
Might sound like a weird thing, but it is really mostly about letting go of fears and relaxing so as to make labor as painless as possible. I would recommend this book to anyone, even if you aren't planning on having a natural birth. It is great because it made me realize that I have some fears I wasn't even aware of. I have to address those fears before this precious gift is ready to make her way in the world, for her sake and for mine.
We also had the little girl listening to music for the first time last night; Danny is a great musician, playing the guitar and the piano, so he picked up his guitar and played some praise and worship and some of his own stuff.
|Serenading his two girls :)|
Let me tell you, this little one likes music! We either have a musician or a dancer on our hands...or maybe both! It was so fun to see how she responds to the music, and such a miracle that she, living inside my womb, can already sense the world outside of her. So beautiful!